By Rev. Dr. Dawn Weaks
Pastor, Connection Christian Church
Holidays can be tough if you are dealing with job or health loss, divorce, or death. Here are some suggestions from various sources I have gathered over the years that others have found helpful in coping.
1. Family get-togethers may be difficult. Be honest with each other about your feelings. Sit down with your family and decide what you want to do for the holiday season. Don’t set expectations too high for yourself or others.
2. There is no right or wrong way to handle your plans. Some may wish to follow family traditions, while others may choose to change.
3. Be careful of “shoulds.” It is better to do what is most helpful for you and your family. What you choose to do this year you don’t have to do the next.
4. Emotionally, physically, and psychologically, grief can be draining. Try to get enough rest. Take naps, or turn in earlier.
5. How do we answer, “Happy Holidays?” You may say, “I’ll try” or “Best wishes to you.” You will think of many answers that you don’t say.
6. Some people fear crying in public, especially at religious services. It is usually better not to push the tears down any time. Worrying about crying is an additional burden. If you let go and cry, you probably will feel better. It does not ruin things for other family members, but instead provides them with the same freedom.
7. Do something for someone else, such as volunteer work. Maybe ask someone who is alone to share the day with your family. Provide help for a needy family. Sometimes this helps get us outside of ourselves. Or maybe you could donate a gift or money in your loved one’s name.
8. Share your concerns, feelings, apprehensions, etc. with a trusted pastor or counselor as the holiday approaches. Tell them that this is a difficult time for you.
Above all, know that God is with you in your sorrow, for that is the purpose of the story we celebrate this time of year. Jesus is known as “Emmanu-el,” meaning God is with us. Many others, too, know your pain. You are not alone!
