HART: It’s good to see a little giddy-up

U.S. Congresswoman Lauren Boebert, Republican from Colorado, turned heads recently when she made the news. After attending a movie in a Denver theater with her new boyfriend (she just filed for divorce), she was asked to leave after she got handsy with the fellow.

Perhaps she was searching him for “pocket vetoes,” but it was disruptive, and ushers asked them to leave the theater. As she left, she is seen on security camera footage shooting the finger at the ushers. Her full hand must have been tired.

First, Biden must have thought, “Who goes to a tired old Tim Burton movie, Beetlejuice, in a movie theater? That is what Blockbuster is for.” Well, the good news for her date was that the movie they saw was not Burton’s other famous movie, Edward Scissorhands.

Second, we are lucky that we now live in a world of equality where a woman member of Congress can monkey around with a playmate of the other gender (an Aspen bar owner named Quinn Galligher, but to stay the movie theater theme, let’s call him Hugh Jackman) like the old men have always done. It is what Gloria Steinem fought for.

So here is what we know about Rep. Lauren Boebert. She is a 36-year-old grandmother, so you know she struggled with self-control. Serendipitously for Republicans, 36-year-old grandmothers used to vote exclusively for Democrats. Also, she was talking loudly in the theater during the show. Are we sure she is not a Democrat?

It’s good to see Republicans extend their hands across the aisle.

Part of the reason I never became a full-fledged Republican is because in the past they were so stodgy and socially judgmental. We libertarians are fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I always said I was a libertarian because we make money like Republicans and have sex like Democrats. Win win!

But in a good way, post-Trump the GOP has changed into a more libertarian party.

Representatives like Boebert have lent a hand in changing the perception of the party to a more libertarian one — edgy and out there. It used to be that the neo-cons were in the GOP, always wanting war. Now warmongers reside in the Democrat Party, while these days Republicans proceed cautiously into wars of choice. That is a good thing.

Republicans have moved the way of us libertarians; now if we can just get them to consider abortion more our way, as something of a personal choice rather than to be made more difficult by legislation in some states. Then the GOP will be off to the races.

The GOP clearly has better looking women than the “lying dog-faced pony soldier” women of the Democrat side. Lawd, Democrat politicians just seem to get uglier and meaner over time.

In addition to the women of Fox News, hot and powerful GOP women abound. Name six better looking Democrat elected officials than Gov. Kristi Noem of South Dakota, Rep. Nancy Mace of South Carolina, Elizabeth Halseth of Nevada, Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, Nikki Haley of South Carolina, and Congresswoman Lauren Boebert of Colorado, hands down the lady of the hour.

In all fairness to Rep. Boebert, who among us hasn’t tried something in a theater? In my hometown, Columbia, Tennessee, the Polk Theater (named after President Polk…James K., not Bill Clinton) was usually the starting point of making out on first dates.

One buddy of mine dated this girl in high school who was called “Abraham Lincoln,” because about everyone had a shot at her in the balcony. I know now that that is wrong to give someone such a name. You cannot do that anymore because nowadays no one can be funny; everyone has to be boring and afraid to laugh. But it was a different time.

Some of a more conspiratorial bent think Rep. Boebert was set up, since the man she was with is a Democrat bar owner from Aspen, Colorado named Quinn Gallagher. There has not been that much of a mess to clean up in that theater since the comedian Gallagher last performed there.

Rep. Boebert and her male friend left the theater when asked and went to dinner where, I can only presume, they had Beef Stroganoff or Jerk Chicken.