The new reality show in Washington D.C. should be called “Keeping Up with the Ukrainians.”
The shared understanding among the permanent, political chattering class in D.C. is that they should piously pontificate on this war long enough to see if Ukraine is going to win. Then they can take credit for the win or blame the loss on the other party in the (more likely) outcome that Ukraine will lose. Most politicians make their careers waiting for a parade to begin; if it is determined that it is a good one, they jump out front of the parade and pretend they lead it.
Joe Biden paid a surprise visit to Ukraine this week. Well, technically these days everything is a surprise to Joe Biden. Perhaps he was visiting the country’s oligarch’s art collection. It boasts the largest Hunter Biden art collection in the world, curated over the last few years by gold chain-wearing thugs in Fila jogging suits. You know — because they have such a refined taste in art.
But he did go there to fire up the troops as only Jumpin’ Joe Biden can. In a rambling speech Biden reminded us of the ongoing battle (not just his versus the English language). There is nothing scarier to 19-year-old U.S. soldiers than an 80-year-old man suddenly willing to die for the future of a corrupt country which has been his family’s honey hole for 15 years.
Biden hit it off with Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, who controls the media in Ukraine, has closed churches and banned rival parties, has wealthy oligarchs doing his bidding, and says that his policies keep democracy secure in Ukraine. So, as you might imagine, Biden admires his work.
Biden went from Germany through Poland (for old times’ sake). Biden does not like to stay long in Poland, which is fraught with danger for him as Polish jokes and Biden jokes are so interchangeable.
It is not fashionable to say that we should not get too involved in Ukraine. It is the same thing I said when Bush started the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Osama bin Laden was a wealthy religious extremist who funded a sucker punch on our World Trade Towers. Bush invaded two countries on false premises, based on false intelligence. Trillions of dollars later, we eventually found bin Laden in his house in Pakistan. Never go to war and invade a county on emotion — only on reason.
What is our strategic interest in notoriously corrupt Ukraine? Yes, their soldiers have fought well to defend their country. We must admire that. But it has long ties to Russia, and we have little strategic interests there. Ukraine is only our 67th largest trading partner, with a measly $1.1 billion trade surplus. If this war ends, it will be Russian oligarchs whose financial interests are damaged and who convince Putin to back off. Remember, the definition of “winning” is a diplomatically elastic term, like “gender” and “recession.” No one knows what winning in Ukraine really looks like.
NATO will protect the rest of Europe and, per Trump’s behest, maybe the rest of Europe will stop letting the U.S. fund more than we should and will start paying its fair share. Of late, we have expended our currency on stupid wars. And I fear Biden’s woke generals (who celebrate promoting transgendered officers more than preparing a strong fighting force) will not do well. Their new slogan might soon be “The Few, the Proud, the Maureens.”
We can throw borrowed U.S. taxpayer money at this war, and maybe get the band back together from World War II. If World War III starts, it will reconstruct the old-world order of war: England will bring its navy, Germany its infantry, the U.S. its air force and missiles. And, of course, France will be asked to bring the refreshments.
The French have already sent Ukraine their tanks. We know this because they have back-up light beepers on them.
If the government gets this right in Ukraine, it will be one in a row. Governments distract citizens with problems they cause and then act like they cure them, like the COVID quarantines and vaccine mandates, and China’s hot air balloons. This war is the latest U.S. shiny object government distraction for us. Say what you will about Putin, he got rid of the “COVID pandemic.“
