A SHARP LIFE: Some things are meant to be an experience

&lclass="BodyCopy">I like technology. My day job is in the Information Technology field. I am a firm believer that in many ways technology has made our lives simpler and easier.&ltgt;&lclass="BodyCopy">But there is a point at which technology threatens to take things too far. Some things just shouldn’t be messed with, and it is too bad no one told Kohler that before they created the Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet.&ltgt;&lclass="BodyCopy">Instead of your normal potty, Kohler promises that with the Numi you will partake in a “fully-immersive experience,” something I don’t think anyone was really looking for in a trip to relieve themself. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I can’t recall doing my business and thinking anything about the experience should be more “immersive.” Isn’t immersive what we are trying to avoid while using the facilities?&ltgt;&lclass="BodyCopy">Kohler is very proud of the fact that the Numi comes with built-in speakers, ambient lighting, and support for Amazon Alexa. I guess the speakers could be useful, but at no point in my 41 years have I visited The John and been disappointed that there was no mood lighting. As long as there is enough lighting to do some light reading I’ve generally been pretty happy. Maybe this is one of those things that once you’ve experienced it, you don’t know how you ever lived without it, but I doubt it.&ltgt;&lclass="BodyCopy">I’m skeptical about the speakers and mood lighting, but a toilet with Alexa support is absolutely insane. You know about Alexa, it is Amazon.com’s artificial intelligence service that handles voice commands. Sometimes Alexa accidentally calls the police, sometimes it emails a person the bad things you say about them, and it has a microphone that is always on and recording what sounds it hears. Just ponder for a moment that every sound your Numi’s microphone picks up will be recorded on Amazon’s servers. If you thought the pictures your friends put on Facebook were embarrassing, just imagine someone getting ahold of your Alexa toilet recordings.&ltgt;&lclass="BodyCopy">I for one am not prepared to boot up my computer and mysteriously see Amazon adds for Pepto Bismol. I’m also not willing to have my toilet ask me things like, “Enjoyed the jalapeño ranch again tonight, Aaron?” Or “Would you like me to call a plumber?” It would probably also provide commentary like, “You know this always happens when you eat chili.”&ltgt;&lclass="BodyCopy">No sir, the Numi isn’t for me, I’m just fine without one more immersive experience in my life.&ltgt;