A SHARP LIFE: Drinks by mail and unlicensed plumbers?

The 86th regular session of the Texas legislature finished up and as soon as business concluded our state representatives and senators fled Austin for their home districts. This most recent session was reasonably productive in some areas. Elected officials passed some bills on school finance, disaster relief, and property taxes which are all things that seem pretty good for them to spend their time on.
They also created the Texas Olive Oil Industry Advisory Board. The two major parties, which were threatening to throw punches in sessions two years ago, even came together to propose a new amendment to the Texas state constitution that would allow we Texans to vote in November on the pressing issue of whether or not a law enforcement animal can be transferred to a qualified caretaker.
For the record, our constitution already has been amended 498 times since 1876 so I guess one more won’t hurt. They also passed more than one bill regarding the regulation of oyster harvesting, including the necessity of needing to obtain a permit to harvest said oysters.
What the legislature was somehow unable to do was come to an agreement on the continuation of the Texas State Board of Plumbing Examiners. Without an agreement from the legislature, as of Sept. 1, plumbing in Texas will be essentially unregulated at the state level. Which shouldn’t be a problem at all, right? Sure, plumbers are the people who run gas lines and connect your house’s plumbing to the city water lines, but how important are those really? Certainly not as important as making sure that Texas Olive Oil is extra virginy.
Sure, if an unlicensed and uninsured plumber doesn’t connect the city water correctly an entire municipality could see its water supply contaminated, but it’s not like that is a health concern or something. And I have it on good authority from a guy who has a friend who knows a guy that running a gas line is as easy as changing a tire, it’s not like you could blow up a whole city block or anything. It certainly isn’t as worthy of oversight as oyster harvesting. When those oyster harvesters go rogue, let me tell you, things get dark. Real dark.
Thankfully, Gov. Greg Abbott took time away from signing a bill into law that enabled Texans to get wine and beer delivered by mail to reassure Texas plumbers not to worry because, “We got this.” I don’t know about you, but hearing this makes me feel so much better that everything is going to work out just fine.
But don’t be discouraged friends, at least we can order something to drink by mail after the water supply goes bad. You can even pull up a lawn chair and order up another cold one to watch your neighbor’s house burn to the ground.