The story of King David and his son Absalom in the 11th through the 19th chapters of the Book of Second Samuel is one of a family gone tragically wrong.

The story begins with David’s adultery with Bathsheba and his murder of her husband Uriah the Hittite, for which God has the prophet Nathan tell David that his family will be plagued by violence ever after.

Then Absalom’s rage at his half-brother Amnon, the heir-apparent to David’s throne, for raping their sister Tamar and his ordering Amnon’s murder two years later is a prelude to his rebellion in which he almost succeeds in murdering his father and becoming king himself.

The Revs. John McLemore and Russell Nebhut say Absalom was the handsomest man in Israel and he only had his long hair cut once a year. He was fleeing the decisive Battle of Ephraim’s Wood with David’s army and was slain when his hair was caught in the branches of an oak tree.

“Absalom avenged Tamar because the Old Testament standard of an eye for an eye was pretty much the law,” said the Rev. McLemore, pastor of Belmont Baptist Church. “He was afraid David would kill him and he left for three years till David was mourning the fact that Absalom was gone and took him back.

“Absalom turned the people against David and tried to overthrow him in a plan that was poorly conceived and poorly executed. David fled Jerusalem, but in the end he triumphed because he was the one God had chosen. So David’s family was brought to ruination with the loss of his two sons.”

McLemore said the lesson is that taking justice into one’s own hands is a bad idea. “Absalom should have taken Tamar’s rape to the king,” he said.

“We may think we can solve all our problems ourselves instead of seeking wisdom from other people. If we take a minute and seek wise counsel, we might handle some of the things that come into our lives in a different way and they might go better.

“When we don’t stop and consider all the consequences of what we’re doing and all the people it will affect, we may get bad results,” McLemore said.

The Rev. Nebhut, pastor of Spirit and Truth Church, said Absalom had Amnon killed at a banquet he had organized for all 19 of David’s sons. “How many times do we see parents let their children get away with murder?” he asked.

“We see it in family dynamics where the kids take matters into their own hands and learn a different pattern of doing things. If there is no discipline or accountability, the kids keep getting into worse and worse trouble and the parents keep bailing them out till they end up getting into really bad circumstances.”

David had asked his general, Joab, “to be gentle with Absalom, but Absalom is killed and David grieves his death,” Nebhut said, adding that Absalom had even had sex in public with David’s concubines to humiliate him.

“There was never the idea of holding him accountable for what he did.”

Second Samuel 19:5-8 says, “Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, ‘You love those who hate you and hate those who love you.

“’You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead. Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall.’

“So the king got up and took his seat in the gateway. When the men were told, ‘The king is sitting in the gateway,’ they all came before him.”