• August 9, 2020

CENTERS PIECE: Premarital counseling is beneficial - Odessa American: Centers’ Piece

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CENTERS PIECE: Premarital counseling is beneficial

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Posted: Monday, March 16, 2020 3:30 am

There is a common fear that couples counseling means the relationship is struggling or on the edge of separation, but couples counseling can be much more than a last step before the end of a relationship. For example, couples can seek premarital counseling to help them feel more prepared for their future together as a couple. Premarital counseling can help a couple create the path they want to take with one another and begin to open up communication about future hurdles.

Premarital counseling is a way to delve into the complicated world of marriage and find solutions before problems or tensions become too big to handle. There are different types of premarital counseling, in how they address issues or topics discussed, but overall premarital counseling is there to develop a deeper connection to your partner. Premarital counseling will look at financial topics, child-rearing options, traditions for the family, communication skills, and many other tools that can improve a relationship.

Couples can benefit from premarital counseling whether they are working toward moving in together, getting married, or just married. As we all know, life is not easy and not being on the same page as your partner can make life even more difficult.

We all have different life experiences and families of origin which is where tension can come from in a relationship. The way we are raised can play a huge role in how we structure our family and establish family roles for our future family. I see a lot of couples assume their partner has the same ideas as they do for child rearing or discipline and this falls apart when things get tough because they are not on the same page. Our partner doesn’t need us to be perfect, but they do need us to be consistent and verbalize the needs or wants we have in the relationship. Premarital counseling can provide the space to have some of those harder, deeper discussions about our life and how we can intertwine the needs of both partners.

According to research, the majority of couples who attend premarital counseling are religious (Meyers, 2011). Typically, religious institutions refer couples to premarital counseling or complete the premarital counseling in house which helps these couples find the avenue quicker. Religious or not, there are many benefits to seeking therapy before things get big verses waiting until things have blown up in the relationship. Hiding or ignoring the issues can provided us with temporary relief in the moment, but just as a Coke explodes when shaken too much, we do the same when emotions are stuffed or not heard. Letting the bad and ugly air out can be very scary but once they are aired, healing can follow.

If premarital counseling sounds like it could be a benefit to you, know that you have options locally. Most counseling centers offer premarital counseling but if you are unsure where you want to start, Psychologytoday.com can show you who is available in the area and what their specialties are.

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