By Dawn Weaks
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! At least that’s what the song on the radio says. For many, it is at best a bittersweet time because they are missing a loved one. Sometimes the joy of this season jangles against our grief. You are in a large company of fellow strugglers if this describes you. Here’s a few thoughts that may be helpful as you navigate grief and gratitude this season.
- Be careful of “shoulds.” It is better to do what is most helpful for you and your family. Traditions are only helpful if they bring comfort to you.
- How do you answer, “Merry Christmas!”? You might say, “I’ll try” or “Maybe next year.”
- What you choose to do this year you don’t have to do the next. Experiment with what helps give you peace.
- Some people are afraid of crying in public, especially at religious services. If you can, let the tears come. Church is a good place to cry.
- Do something for someone else, such as driving for Meals on Wheels or volunteering at the Food Bank. Perhaps you can donate to a meaningful charity in your loved one’s name.
- Share your concerns, feelings, apprehensions, etc. with a counselor or pastor as the holiday approaches. Tell them that this is a difficult time for you. Accept help!
- Often after the first year you may feel like you are supposed to be “over it”. We are never over it! But we will get through it. The experience of many bereaved people is that eventually they enjoy the holidays again.
- Find a grief support group or special service that provides comfort for your loss. Hospice of Odessa offers grief support groups in town. Also, I invite you to share in our church’s “Service of Comfort and Joy” this Sunday December 5 at 5pm at Connection Christian Church (4241 Tanglewood Lane). We will hear music and messages that offer peace to our hearts, as well as light candles to remember our loved ones.
I invite you to remember the truth proclaimed in the gospel of John that “the light has come into the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.” May God’s light guide your way through this time, and may you know others are holding you in prayer. You are not alone.
The Rev. Dr. Dawn Weaks is pastor of Connection Christian Church. odessaconnection.church
Worship with us in-person Sundays @ 9am or @ 11am @ 4241 Tanglewood or on Facebook @odessaconnect
