• January 28, 2020

A SHARP LIFE: Do not pass go or collect $200 - Odessa American: Local Columns

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A SHARP LIFE: Do not pass go or collect $200

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Posted: Sunday, January 12, 2020 2:30 pm

Monopoly fever has taken over the Sharp house.

The eight-year-old Zoologist received the classic board game as a present for Christmas and what started out as a fun afternoon game has reached the level of obsession for multiple members of the family.

To be clear, not all members of the family are enthralled with this rather time-intensive game. The two-year-old Slugger likes to steal the race car off of the board and make vrrrm vrrrrm sounds with his mouth while he plays with it. For her part the four-year-old Fashionista doesn’t understand why you would play Monopoly when you could be accessorizing. Becoming a real estate tycoon just isn’t as appealing to the younger Sharp siblings.

The six-year-old Ballerina likes the game well enough, although it does seem to drag on a bit too much for her tastes. (Don’t tell her, but we are using the game as a fun way to help her practice Math. If she ever realizes Monopoly is basically homework she’s sure to hate it).

The two people in our house who might have developed unhealthy obsessions with passing Go and collecting $200 are the Wonder Woman and the eight-year-old Zoologist. The Zoologist has figured out that the game is basically a big excuse for his parents to help him with Math, but he’s so intent on building houses and hotels that he doesn’t even care. The poor kid is just dying to win a game, but so far he seems a lot more adept at getting into debt than he is at getting out of it. At least he’s old enough to be the banker now.

The Wonder Woman’s monopoly intensity is really a burning desire deep in her heart to destroy me in any game we play. I’m not sure what this says about our marriage, but for the entire time we have known each other the Wonder Woman has really only been super competitive with one person on the planet – me. The first night we played after the kids went to be she made me play the game two more times until she finally won a game.

I enjoy Monopoly, and despite Wonder Woman’s claims that I am a little smug when I play, I think I’m a good sport. Like I can help it that it’s really funny when she goes bankrupt.

All things come to an end and by the time you ready this column I’ll probably have given up the cut-throat, high-stress world of Monopoly. I’m getting too old for this. I think I’ll just sit in the floor making engine sounds with the Slugger.

Odessa, TX

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