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Bubba’s proving to be an off and Ohno Games fan

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Posted: Friday, February 26, 2010 12:00 am

With a little time on my hands, I decided to drop by the Crawl On Inn and see what my buddy Bubba Gravelhauler was in a bad mood about.

I found him nursing a longneck and staring at the television set above the bar.

"You into the Olympics?" I asked as I plopped onto the stool next to him.

He shrugged and said, "Sort of, I guess. Snow and ice don’t do much for me. And I wonder who makes up some of these things they’re callin’ sports. Like you ski a while and then you shoot for a while. Then you ski some more and shoot some more. What’s that about? So I guess I watch some of the stuff and when they start figure skatin’, I go over to the Food Network and watch some competitive cookin’. At least that makes me hungry."

I admitted that most of the Winter Games have passed me by. "But there are some interesting human interest stories involved with the athletes. And I do appreciate the skills that are needed to compete in some of the events."

Bubba chimed in. "I got into it all a little more than I thought I would. But football’s over and I ain’t watchin’ basketball until March madness. So it’s sort of the only game in town. That Yoko Ono guy … "

"Apolo Ohno," I corrected.

" … whatever. Anyway, that guy’s amazin’ the way he can pass them other guys while he’s almost layin’ on the ice. And I kinda like that Carrot Top lookin’ guy …

"Shaun White," I added.

" … yeah, that’s the guy. That half pipe thing of his is unbelievable. How’s he get that high in the air without killin’ hisself?"

I laughed. "Well, you can say what you about all the skating and skiing and sliding, but some of those events offer a good way to get hurt."

He shot back, "Yeah, like that good-lookin’ American girl skier. First she’s got a boo-boo on her shin and then she crashes and it’s a big deal ‘cause she’s got a broken pinkie. Them TV types got her all blown out of proportion. But I gotta say that when one of them skiers crashes in that giant shalom thing … "

"Ah, Bubba, that’s slalom … "

" … whatever. Anyway, they could really hurt themselves bad. I guess I oughta give ‘em more credit."

"Ok, here’s the real test. What’s been your favorite Olympic moment?"

Bubba snickered and said, "Actually I didn’t see this, but I heard about it. After the Canadian gals won the hockey gold, they had one big party out there on the ice. I heard they trotted out the champagne and some beer and was smokin’ cigars. And them Olympics bigwigs got their noses out of joint ‘cause they was tarnishin’ the image or somethin’. No sense of humor."

I added, "Well, I guess the Games are about having fun and that sounds like fun."

My pal smiled and said, "Besides, I’m pretty sure some of those old dudes had a few too many when they decided to add curlin’ to the mix. Or maybe they was smokin’ some of them brooms. There’s no brooms in sports."

Odessa, TX

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