‘He Stopped Loving Her Today' misses country song list
I love William Lee Golden. Granted the beard looks like he should be in ZZ Top, but he’s my favorite simply because I met him once. He seemed like a completely normal guy. Except for the beard.
Joe Bonsall sure can sing, but he looks like he ran through an ugly forest and hit every tree. I’m pretty sure there’s a Constitutional Amendment that says “pretty” can’t be in the same sentence with Joe Bonsall unless “pretty” is modifying “voice.”
Duane Allen is the all-time best fourth wheel. That’s sort of like winning the NBA’s Sixth Man Award — except sports fans might remember the name of the guy who won.
Judging from their website, Richard Sterban has entered second childhood. He’s sporting a hairdo like Joe Nichols and a soul patch Howie Mandel would be proud of.
What’s that? You can’t place any of the four names I’ve mentioned? Is it bugging you?
Well, oom-pappa-oom-pappa-mow-mow.
Figured it out? That’s right. Golden, Bonsall, Allen and Sterban are the Oak Ridge Boys. And I may have committed a sacrilege listing Golden first. Most think of Golden as the guy with the beard. I think of him as the Once and Future Oak Ridge Boy since he once left the group only to return later.
But none of that explains why I’m talking about a group that left its prime around the same time I left college.
I’m writing about the Oak Ridge Boys because AOL Music’s “The Boot” has put the classic “Elvira” No. 1 on the “Top 10 Catchy Songs in Country” list.
Surprised? Me too. I didn’t know AOL still existed either.
Here’s what Allen said: “When I opened up my AOL account, one of the headline stories for the day was about the 10 catchiest songs in country music history, I followed the link and started to read the top 10. I started at 10 and wondered what would be next as I scrolled down the page. I was thinking that we would not have a song on there, then at No. 1 was our huge hit ‘Elvira.’ You could hear me screaming all the way from Oklahoma. Thanks to Dallas Frazier for writing such a song that bought us all a new house, and a new car.”
I’m sure your enquiring minds want to know the rest of the list, so here it is:
2. “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers.
3. “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift.
4. “Family Tradition” by Hank Williams Jr.
5. “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus.
6. “It’s Finally Friday” by George Jones.
7. “Man! I Feel Like A Woman” by Shania Twain.
8. “Dang Me” by Roger Miller.
9. “How Do You Like Me Know?” by Toby Keith.
10. “Undo It” by Carrie Underwood.
Like every other list, this one has glaring omissions. How can “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” by David Allan Coe and “It’s Hard to Be Humble” by Mac Davis not make the list? I’d easily jettison both Swift and Underwood for those two. And what about “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere?” Lose Jones for that one.
At least it’s cool “Elvira” is back in the spotlight. Now I want AOL to do a list of great country song titles and see if the Oak Ridge Boys have another winner with “I Guess It Never Hurts to Hurt Sometimes.”
Giddy up.
