Another worrisome school development

There are enough issues going on in education today to make one dizzy.
There’s always evolution, the Darwinian standard-bearer of controversy. Then sex education. And prayer. Textbooks. Dress codes. It never ends.
But even I, a hardened veteran, was taken aback when I read the latest — a student-proposed mandate in Colleyville High School for the girls to go to school make-up free for one day of the week. Seems they’ve decided to go natural on Tuesdays and have adopted a slogan: “Re-defining beautiful, one girl at a time.”
Mind-boggling — and bold.
When I started teaching in Iraan, I returned to my old school after an absence of 25 years, anticipating the aroma of chalk dust in the halls. Not so.
That fragrance drifting down the halls of knowledge darned sure didn’t come from chalk. My new home-away-from-home boasted the overwhelming aroma of hairspray. The girls sprayed away, the boys and I coughed, and the ozone continued to deplete.
For a while there, I thought I had made a mistake and signed up to teach cosmetology classes. Before the last echo of the tardy bell that ruled our lives sounded, out came the Revlon Shiny Glow for the lips, the Maybelline Dusky Eyes for the lids, eyelash curlers and mascara, the brushes and hair ribbons and hair spray as they curled, twisted, brushed and braided.
A split hair was much more threatening than a split infinitive. These girls had not yet mastered parallel parking, but they could wield the tools of beauty with an experienced hand.
“Did you know it’s not good manners to do your personal grooming in public?” I ask.
Their looks of disbelief are staggering.
“You’re new here, so you don’t know, but the other teachers always let us put on our makeup.”
“But, you see, I don’t like it. Why, what if the boys brought their toothbrushes and razors (assuming they had achieved that manly custom) and broke out the toothpaste and shaving cream, now wouldn’t that be a mess?”
“But they don’t need to do that, and we do. We have to look good for next period and we didn’t have time before band. Why are you so mean?”
They stare at me, mascara wands and hairbrushes suspended in mid-air. “Besides, we have something to tell you.”
Long pause. Finally, one of them speaks up. (There are leaders in every class, even without a vote.)
“Ma’am, we were just talking and think you are sorta pale. Some darker lipstick would really look nice and give you some color. Have you tried Revlon True Red? And have you ever had your colors done?”
Memo to students from the new teacher who can’t even match her lipstick and nail polish: Students will not be allowed to conduct personal grooming in class.
“What kind of a school is this anyway? Don’t we have any rights?” They grumble and give me dirty looks, but eventually life goes on, even without Revlon and Maybelline.
I wish I could have convinced them that they possessed something more appealing than all the cosmetics in the world could provide. Their cheeks were blushed with innocence and youth, no artificial aid necessary.
If only these ingredients could be bottled and sold.
I salute the girls of Colleyville. You may be onto to something big. Go forth and “walk in beauty like the night.”
Chandler is a retired teacher, librarian and author. She lives in Dryden.