Musings on pumpkins, Pampers and Pfizer stock

We've turned the clocks back and the calendar to December. That must mean it's time for me to turn back to an annual column I absolutely love to do.

Brother Gene's faithful followers know I steal a column from the pages of the "The Old Farmer's Almanac" each and every year. They get publicity, and I get a cheap column. It's the textbook definition of a win-win scenario.

Without further adieu (which is good since I'm about out of adieu), here's a smattering of what can be found in the 2009 edition:

>> It's not true that we use only 10 percent of our brain. Studies show that no part of the brain is ever completely dormant. (Unless you're reading my column.)
>> The best home improvements you can make are putting in replacement windows, hanging siding on the outside walls or building a wooden deck. (Adding a sunroom is way overrated.)
>> Did you know medical researchers and farmers are teaming up to grow fruits and vegetables with increased health benefits. First up for "biofortification" is a carrot that helps prevent osteoporosis. (I'm not eating Brussels sprouts unless they can make me handsome.)
>> British researcher Dr. Aubrey de Grey thinks it may be possible for people to live to be 1,000 years old. (If that happens, I'm buying Pfizer stock.) By the way, there's an article on how to live to be 100 in the 2009 edition as well.
>> The biggest giant pumpkin weighed 1,689 pounds. (That's a lot of pie.)
>> There are 27 billion disposable diapers dumped into landfills annually. (That's a lot of something. Maybe I should buy Pampers stock.)
>> In southern California, 75 percent of families have too much stuff in their garage to accommodate a vehicle. (I feel their pain. My parents can only get one vehicle in their three-car garage.)
>> Did you know that 10 percent of all users are clinically addicted to the Internet. (Hope oaoa.com is their home page.)
>> If you're a collector then you may want to know that Noel Barrett, president of the Antique Toy Collectors, says that anything from the Franklin Mint is "out." (What about Nax's NASCAR plate series?)
>> Someone recently paid $2,500 for 50 rolls of toilet paper from the 1920s. (I don't even know what to say about that.)
>> Sour cream-flavored ice cream is supposed to be a food of the future. (But how is it on baked potatoes?)
>> Did you know that monarch butterflies only eat milkweed? (Cheech and Chong have a favorite weed as well.)
>> In a piece on astrology, there is a short article on how to arrange to have chickens born at a certain time to ensure they are healthier and that they grow faster. It's all about the full moon and "setting" the eggs. (It sort of scrambled my brain.)
>> A piece on animal husbandry talks about miniature cows. (Guess I'll have to start ordering small Blizzards.)
>> The winners from the 2008 essay contest detail terrible cooking disasters. (I should have sent in the fact that my wife once thought the smoke alarm was an oven timer.)
As usual, there are plenty of planting and gardening tips as well as the annual bits about the weather. One of the wonderful things about the almanac is the annual staples, so to speak.
My favorite part of the 2009 Almanac is an article about dream interpretations. You'll have to buy a copy to understand this, but now I'm not so concerned about my dream where Donald Trump and I are eating cantaloupe while watching llamas and polar bears stroll by.