Hope in death's face

The doors at the entrance to Hospice House are garnished with wreaths this time of year. Inside are ornately decorated Christmas trees and Nativity scenes.

But the place where many people spend their final hours is tied to the holiday season in more than just aesthetic ways.

“Christmastime is about destroying death,” the Rev. Jimmy Braswell, a chaplain at Hospice House, said. “Jesus came to take away the fear of death.”

Some bring relatives to Hospice House hoping they’ll make it through the holidays, Joyce Longino, a director and nurse at Hospice House, said.

“People will say, ‘Mom’s goal is to make it to Thanksgiving,’ or ‘Mom’s goal is to make it to her 80th birthday,’ or ‘Mom’s goal is to make it to Christmas Eve or Christmas,’ ” Longino said.

“A lot of times that happens,” she said. “Our will to live is really strong.”

Often, it’s more the relatives who want family members to reach such goals, she said. But, Braswell said it could be positive to lose a family member during the holidays.

“If there’s a holiday attached to it, you can use the holiday to remember them,” he said.

Braswell encourages families to remember symbolically — using acts like leaving an empty place for a lost loved one at the Christmas table.

Hospice House, which is operated by Home Hospice, also uses the holidays to remember those who stayed in its nine patient rooms during the year. On Dec. 6, it held a memorial at First Baptist Church to pay tribute to the guests who died in the past year.

The name of Ellouise Farquhar was among the 174 read there. The 80-year-old died Nov. 4 at Hospice House after suffering from cancer.

The ceremony was classy, her husband, James Farquhar, said. The event was attended by around 125 people.

Hospice House also presents surviving family members with Christmas ornaments with the name of their deceased relative.

“I’m saving those for the grandchildren,” Farquhar said. “They don’t fully understand.”

Sometimes, at Hospice House, the staff is looking more to help people get through the holidays, rather than celebrate them.

Helping people get through their first Christmas without a loved one is particularly important, social worker Sandra Neal said.

“We give them materials, talk about the holiday season and how to get them through,” she said.

James Farquhar will always be grateful for his wife’s time at Hospice House.

“It wasn’t like a hospital,” he said. “It was like home. The meals were outstanding. There’s not enough adjectives to explain how we were treated.”

Home Hospice’s GriefShare program is free of charge and open to anyone who’s lost loved ones.

>> When: 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Tuesdays starting Jan. 8. The program lasts 13 weeks.

>> Where: St. Andrew Cumberland Presbyterian Church, 1415 N. Grandview Ave. Seminars will also be held in Andrews, Fort Stockton and Midland.

>> Call: 580-9990.