CENTERS' PIECE: Celebrating National Adoption Month
In my work with adoptive parents and their traumatized adopted children, my goal is to make their journeys a little smoother. For a former foster child, leaving behind the baggage of extreme abuse or neglect is a very difficult task. For a child who inadvertently consumed alcohol while in the mother’s womb, the impact can be lifelong.
According to the National Organization for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (NOFAS), “Fetal alcohol syndrome is defined as a set of physical and mental birth defects that can result when a woman drinks alcohol during her pregnancy. Alcohol passes through the placenta right into the developing baby. It is characterized by brain damage, facial deformities, and growth deficits. Heart, liver, and kidney defects also are common, as well as vision and hearing problems. Individuals with FAS have difficulties with learning, attention, memory, and problem solving.”
An excellent book, “Forfeiting All Sanity” by Jennifer Poss Taylor, captures the reality of raising a child with FAS. She talks about adopting their precious daughter Ashley and her bewildering array of behaviors. The family lived in Midland and now lives in Lubbock.
Attending school set off Ashley’s anxiety as the expectations for her rose. Even now, Ashley gets anxious when she has to go into a new situation. She copes with anxiety by rubbing her hands together over and over. If that does not soothe her she pinches her legs, bites herself, or chokes her own neck until she passes out.
She pulls out her hair and rolls it into balls and then stuffs the balls up her nose, in her ears, or she eats them. She chews on her wooden furniture. She took the batteries out of a flashlight and chewed them up. She forgets how clothes are supposed to go. She will wear her panties upside down, inside out, and even put both legs through one leg-hole and go all day without noticing anything is wrong, even though it cuts off her circulation.
There are short-term memory problems. Ashley gets lost inside her own home. When told to go to the garage so they can drive to school, Ashley was found in the closet of the master bedroom at the opposite end of the house, looking for the garage.
Looking at her behavior over a long period of time in varying circumstances shows that much of the time it is not willfulness. Since we know that alcohol is toxic to the developing brain, it’s no wonder that these children have short circuits in multiple areas.
My goal in writing this article was not to describe FAS in great detail. You can do that at www.nofas.org. Nor to explain how to prevent it, which is simple — don’t drink when you’re pregnant. But it would be nice if people just understood why the children (and parents) do what they do. If people understood, then they could provide support, which is what many of these children are going to need the rest of their lives.
