BRIDAL Q&A: Jan. 1, 2012

Question: “What is the best way to include my nieces and a nephew in the wedding? They are all under the age of 4.”

Answer: You can have two flower girls and one ring bearer — the numbers of each position do not have to be equal. Depending on the age of the youngest, you may or may not have them enter as a group. There is security in numbers. Or perhaps the girls could lead the way dropping rose petals or ringing a wedding bell? If some of the children are toddler age, consider decorating a wagon and having the oldest child pull the younger ones. However, because they are so young, I would definitely have them sit down with a close relative after they make their grand entrance down the aisle.

Question: “What is a realistic amount to ask the bridesmaids and groomsmen to spend on their attire for the wedding?”

 Answer: It is supremely important to communicate, communicate, communicate. Most people expect to pay for their wedding apparel and are receptive to the idea. They understand the clothes are a part of the deal. However, when you are not upfront from the beginning about the cost or you simply never address the cost, it will be a problem. Few people are able or willing to drop $100 to $200 at the last minute with no prior warning.

Normally, the groomsmen pay for their own tuxedos. There are tuxedos for under $100 and tuxedos for close to $200. The price varies by your style selection and the number of amenities you add (shoes, pocket square, upgraded shirt, etc.). If you are feeling more price-conscious, ask the groomsmen if they have their own dress shoes. However, I would strongly suggest that you inspect the shoes or ask the groom to do so. You don’t want to arrive at the wedding and find that one groomsman is in boots, one in black tassel shoes, one in scuffed shoes, and another in Converse. Remember, “dress shoes” mean different things to different people so you should be clear about your expectations. Also, bear in mind that the true formal tux shoe is in fact somewhat shiny so if you are having a formal wedding, I would suggest that the groomsmen splurge for the matching shoes.

The girls most often pay for their own dresses too. They should be prepared to spend $150 to $250. You can find dresses toward the lower end; just don’t expect the greatest quality. If you are of the mindset, “It will only be worn once and most people won’t really pay attention to the bridesmaids’ dresses anyway.”, then you can spend considerably less. However, be careful. Ill-fitting and cheap dresses can really ruin the overall environment of the event, making it look thrown together and haphazard. Let the bridesmaids know well in advance what the dresses will cost. Factor in alterations, shoes, jewelry, and even hair and makeup if necessary. Most people would rather know up front that they are committing to a total expenditure of $300-plus than be constantly asked for $100 here and $150 there. If the dress that you like is too expensive, consider paying for some of it. Or maybe you could buy the bridesmaids’ shoes? There are many ways to save money. You just have to be creative. If the dresses are long and black, ask the girls to wear their own black shoes (be sure they are all either open or closed toe). Most girls have basic black sandal type shoes. Again, the most important thing is communication.